Listening for social change

By Marisa Geitner, president and C.E.O

Listening is an art, and if we aren’t careful it might become a lost art.

I believe most people want to be better listeners, so how do we improve?

Daily discipline. Conversation by conversation.

First, slow down. Take a breath. Look at the person (see his eyes and mouth). Focus.  Next really pay attention, don’t allow yourself to be distracted by the people or activity that surrounds you. When it is your turn to speak (there is never a good reason to interrupt) ask clarifying questions. This is not your chance to persuade or convince – you are the listener.  Finally, validate what you’ve heard and validate the person who has shared it. Thank her for sharing her time and thinking with you.

We know listening is an important skill for our personal development but it is also essential for social change. You see, social change requires congruent vision, collaboration and civility. Like any strong relationship it requires respect and mutual contribution and concession.  A stunning percentage of people when asked “When do you most feel respected?” will answer in some form or fashion “when I am heard.”

We are hardwired as social beings so that belonging and contributing are important to us all. That’s why most people prefer to talk to great listeners, not great speakers.

Collective impact will stall and social change will lag when we don’t listen and hear one another, when we don’t demonstrate value and respect to all as contributors.